I'm 17 months older than my little brother and I distinctly remember being at the lake when we were kids and it looking like it was going to rain and the only thing I cared about was making sure he got out of the water. And also realizing he could care less about me getting out of the water and, like, just knowing in my bones that this is mostly a one way relationship. At nine years old!
Heard and seen. Even this past weekend I found myself looking at my pregnant sister full of maternal love. Not sisterly love. Hoping she is health. Worried for her. Wanting to help. Huge different between that and how I might feel about “just” a sibling.
Your niece will have a completely different experience than you as the big sister to a boy. He will get excused for everything for being the baby AND a boy.."that's just how boys are" "boys are more immature than girls" the expectations are very different. Also, way less opportunity to find common ground and become friends. At least it was in my experience. I'm sure her parents will be much more sensitive to what those messages send, but society stll stubbornly holds fast. I was raised by the "children are to be seen and not heard, respect only flows one way" boomer gen, so hopefully it will be better for her. Great article, you hit some very poignant topics.
I'm never leaving this Substack.
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I'm 17 months older than my little brother and I distinctly remember being at the lake when we were kids and it looking like it was going to rain and the only thing I cared about was making sure he got out of the water. And also realizing he could care less about me getting out of the water and, like, just knowing in my bones that this is mostly a one way relationship. At nine years old!
The elder sister life is wild!
Heard and seen. Even this past weekend I found myself looking at my pregnant sister full of maternal love. Not sisterly love. Hoping she is health. Worried for her. Wanting to help. Huge different between that and how I might feel about “just” a sibling.
Yep! That’s me
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I’m not sure I’ve ever felt more seen and understood. Thank you!
From one eldest daughter to another: ❤️
Your niece will have a completely different experience than you as the big sister to a boy. He will get excused for everything for being the baby AND a boy.."that's just how boys are" "boys are more immature than girls" the expectations are very different. Also, way less opportunity to find common ground and become friends. At least it was in my experience. I'm sure her parents will be much more sensitive to what those messages send, but society stll stubbornly holds fast. I was raised by the "children are to be seen and not heard, respect only flows one way" boomer gen, so hopefully it will be better for her. Great article, you hit some very poignant topics.